Permanent link for Tips for Managing the Disorienting Effects of COVID-19 on April 6, 2020

“I can’t believe this is happening!” “One month ago, we were going about business like this virus didn’t exist.” “Nothing is normal.” “When is this going to end?” “I’m missing out on so much!”

If you have thought or felt any of these things recently, you are not alone. We are in the middle of a disorienting experience, on a scale of which you, or even most your older loved ones have never experienced. It seems like things change every day and the bad news keeps growing. What is “normal” and how are we supposed to feel, act, or react? In an upcoming series of articles, we will look at some of our common, shared experiences and how we can respond in a way that’s kind and supportive to ourselves and to others.

Crisis can disrupt and disconnect people. This crisis has social distancing baked right into it. Practice staying connected to at least one other person daily through some form of virtual communication. Video chatting can be one of the best forms of connection during this time. Why? Because making eye contact stimulates the limbic system, the brain’s seat of emotion and emotional connection. Reach out to at least one person today.

Crisis leads to grief. One type of grief is “actual”—where we can identify specific things we have lost, and we have feelings about those losses. Another type is “anticipatory” grief—where have not lost something yet, but we know it’s coming, and we may have both grief and anxiety about it. Another type of loss is “ambiguous” grief—where there may be a feeling of dread for unknown losses ahead, but they can’t be specifically identified yet.

Give up the idea that grief comes in “stages” or there is a normal way to experience it. Because we are all unique and our losses are unique, we will experience it differently. Grief shows up in different ways and at different times for each of us. Your way of experiencing it is okay. It’s important to turn towards whatever feelings you are having and say, “Well, I don’t like this very much, but I accept that this is how my grief shows up.” Even though your grief process is unique, connect with others in their grief by sharing what you feel with another person. Try to look for what’s similar between your experiences versus focusing on what’s different. It can help you feel less alone.

In the coming weeks we will explore other ways to cope with this disorienting time in our lives.

- Les White, LMSW, CAADC

Posted on Permanent link for Tips for Managing the Disorienting Effects of COVID-19 on April 6, 2020.