Top 4 Low-Key Laker Flexes
Posted on September 4, 2019
Written by Leah Erben
Do you want to be cool? Are you looking for ways to impress your new Laker friends and make sure they know how incredible you are? Here are four ways you can flex on your friends at GVSU and remind them that you run this campus.
1. Using your dining dollars
At the start of this semester, those of you who are blessed with dining dollars will find a new sense of freedom. You realize that with seemingly limitless money, the possibilities are endless. Buy your friends dinner on campus, get coffee from Starbucks before class, and get all of your groceries from the C-Store. The more money you spend on your friends, the more likely you are to become the most popular kid on campus. Sure, you will eventually run out of dining dollars, but they don’t need to know that.
2. Actually being able to navigate Mackinac Hall
We all know that Mackinac Hall is more of a maze than it is a building. Some students who enter are never able to find their way out. You, however, will spend hours memorizing the layout of the building so you can flex on all the other students who will be cluelessly wandering from A hall to D hall between classes. Others will be late and frantically asking one another, “Why wouldn’t they put C hall right next to B hall? Who designed this thing?!” You will be sitting in class on-time like a boss.
3. Walking under the Transformational Link
According to GVSU myth, walking under the Transformational Link sculpture from the completed side to the uncompleted side will cause you to fail your exams. While other Lakers are fearfully avoiding the sculpture entirely, you will be braver than all of them combined and walk right under it. Cool people like you take risks.
4. Beating Louie the Laker in a push-up contest
Only the bravest of Lakers would dare challenge the all-powerful Louie to a push-up contest. Be sure to train for years before attempting such a feat. If you are somehow able to prove yourself stronger than the king of GV himself, you have reached the greatest flex of them all.
These four things are guaranteed to make you cool, and more importantly, ensure that those around you know just how great you are. Flex on the whole world by posting your best Laker pics on Instagram with the hashtag #lowkeylakerflex.