Conscious Conversation Synopsis - Elder Care
This Conversation began with a round of introductions that not only included name and department, but also attendees’ personal experience with elder care. Responses spanned a range including, for example, no direct experience with interest in learning; direct experience in the care of one’s own parent or parents; and indirect experience or a support role in the care of grandparents.
Just these introductions alone were very revealing in terms of the different areas where one might seek support or need answers when it comes to caring for our loved ones in the later stages of their lives. The first point folks resonated with was the idea of providing care. Right away those involved in the conversation shared their common experience in seeing women identified as the default caretakers. It was also common to see a split within families where one member was responsible for the financial decisions while another made medical decisions. It was particularly interesting when you looked at the intersection of these two points. Oftentimes when the split occurred, anecdotally speaking, women were more commonly assigned the role of the medical care and decision making while men were assigned the finances. Also, the idea of women being the default took an interesting turn in the family dynamic when those needing care were the in-laws. Examples were given where the caretakers involved were formally identified as a sister and brother when that, in reality, played out as being the sister and sister-in-law.
Many folks were learning from their own lived experiences and reflecting on how they might handle things differently for when their own time comes. Common examples included the need to find the comfort in having these conversations earlier with loved ones, to make decisions earlier, and to involve care providers (i.e., Hospice) earlier. Many agreed, while we may be resistant to having these conversations because in a way it’s difficult to acknowledge our own mortality, it really is the last act of love we can perform for those we leave behind. Having our affairs in order relieves our loved ones of the burden of making so many difficult decisions during a time of grief.
Another theme discussed was the advancement of modern medicine and the conundrum that leaves us with in trying to find the balance between extending life against the upper limit of health. This presents conditions where previous generations do not have as much experience. The more recent generations are now running into situations where loved ones are living into years that are requiring more assistance and decision making from family members and the field of elder care is really expanding. The group felt strongly that it is very likely we are going to see ourselves encountering this responsibility in our lives, and certainly our children will be dealing with it. So, we really can’t be afraid, to the earlier point, to have the needed conversations; the topic needs to be normalized. It also makes necessary the access to resources that instill confidence in the credibility of options. Folks spoke about how it took more than just a few days to sort things out. What all needs to be considered? Who does what in terms of the different needs? Just take housing, for example. Which organizations are legitimate? Who is who? Who can I trust? And, how can I find this information easily when I am trying to search on my phone or make calls in between meeting with people and looking after my loved one?
At this point, the Conversation turned more practical as there was a review of the benefits provided to GVSU employees. While we celebrated the wins achieved recently by the Family Leave Task Force to get extended time covered for parental leave, another goal for the Women’s Commission has been to expand the definition of ‘family’ and what this benefit might cover. Certainly, FMLA allows for coverage; one may use salary continuation to cover your own appointments or the appointments your spouse, children, and parents. This benefit may be used for parent-in-laws when those individuals live within the staff member’s household. Further discussion held on this front echoed the previous conversation around the parental leave where attendees highlighted inconsistencies across units, supervisors, and appointing officers. Some staff reflected on experiences with supervisors who were really understanding, who maybe also shared their own personal experiences, and so offered a lot of support and flexibility. While others shared quite opposite experiences with their supervisors.
Interesting enough, this part of the Conversation led to a spin-off on benefits and the possibility of offering a broader variety of options in almost a “cafeteria style” set up to better meet the needs of such a diversity of employees. For example, following generational trends, not as many folks are having children these days whereas a lot of folks are opting for pets instead, so many organizations are choosing to make pet insurance an option among their benefits. Another popular approach across industries today is acknowledging that individuals who are newer in their career may prefer a benefit that helps to pay off student loans rather than, what appeals to those later in their career, with having a retirement contribution. Human Resources and Benefits is also considering areas that have previously not been on the radar in the case of, for example, support groups. So much like the mothers’ or fathers’ groups on campus, we might see something like a menopause support group come to fruition that would cover topics related to support and accommodation for that population. It’s also important to remember that staff are free to create groups of this sort where they see a need an interest, like student organizations. It does require a non-HR representative to lead, but the meetings and sessions can be pushed out under HR via Sprout. Examples could include anything from gluten intolerance to parenting neurodivergent children. All of this is about better suiting employees from differing needs and generations and moving from a compliance to a commitment standard of care.
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