Since it was a small group at this Conversation, the meeting began with a check-in for each attendee who seemed to each take time to take a deep breath an then comment on the change they were currently experiencing in both work and life. Most of the members seemed to note a positive response to the change they were experiencing because they felt in control or at least active in the change that was occurring. This was in contrast to the attendee who had a less positive view of the of the change they were experiencing, notably because they felt less in control of the situation. 

Other themes of discussion touched on the inability to dismiss the interaction between the personal and professional changes and how we bring our whole selves to each. To help in controlling for some of this, folks shared various techniques. One attendee offered their serenity prayer as a tactic, which captures the first step in deciding how they will work through things - speaking her truth and taking action. The prayer serves as an effective control for anxiety.

Relatedly, acknowledging the reality of where one is in the process or how one is feeling in a particular situation was voiced as important. For example, optimism and positivity are not the same thing, as is highlighted in this interview with Simon Sinek.

Taking this another step, there is caution in teaching mindfulness in avoiding toxic positivity. It's really not helpful. Negative feelings actually serve a purpose. That one should maintain neutrality instead. If one would like to read more on this, the attendee who spoke about this idea offered this book by author Trevor Moawad as a resource. 

At this point the group started to talk more about the concept of metacognition and how it is more about the "event + reaction" and you can either react how you feel or react how you want - which will serve more of a purpose for you? Mindtools.com has a resource called the Change Curve which can be a good tool as well, with the slight critique that things do not always occur linearly. The group found consensus around the idea that rebuilding can take a lot of forms. You can either get past something, like with a work project, but with others you learn to wrap your life around it, like with grief. 

Up to this point the types of change being discussed were focused mostly on individual change. But, clearly change affecting groups can occur as well and these types of changes can have differing impacts based on the energies of folks around you. A lot of it comes down to "how do we move past this together"? Other varieties of change include:

• Permanent
• Seasonal
• Life
• Work
• How much does this have to do with Strengths+Quest personalities?
  • How do different personalities handle different changes from small to big?
• Experiences facilitating other folks' change, i.e. working orientation
  • One conversation might be just about the emotional component - how it feels to be the parent of a new college student
  • Another might be about the sensitivity of the student who normally can't stand even moving something in their room

Sometimes you don't realize change is occurring, you just know you feel unsettled because change is occurring around you. Then we get to the idea of CHANGE FATIGUE. It seems easier to accept it all once you understand the WHY behind the change. But, eventually the group agreed we all reach the point where we get tired of hearing about it and move immediately to the point of being ok and wanting to know "now what"? A group wants to know what can be done about it and wants to see action. 

This is the point in the conversation where everyone started to discuss the limited capacity or bandwidth they all had, for either/both information processing and to withstand change. There were mixed responses to this challenge among even this small group which included:

• "I don't need to sit at every table, but a bit of transparency goes a long way."
• The need to have sight lines to where the values are in every decision or else this is when people start to question things/decisions/actions.
• On the other hand, there is so much information everywhere, it becomes hard to zero in on what would have made the difference.
• A lot of times the issue is not the "thing", it's something a few layers below the "thing". Oftentimes the problem is either/or the process or the experience.
• Issue with there being no formal process for how these conversations are had or decisions are made.

To round out the conversation the group shared the biggest factors that helped them each navigate change in their own lives:

• Just realizing change is the definition of life.
• Mindfulness – the need to practice it for when you need it most (same for metacognition)
  • Allows you to respond rather than react
• Communication as a tool for processing
• Where does Hope fall?
  • Don’t use it as a dismissive strategy
  • Affirm and acknowledge first
  • Hope as an expectation
  • Negative to be too enmeshed in hope – too future focused rather than being present – too attached to the outcome
  • Seems okay in the general, but dangerous in the specific – cannot stand by itself as a useless emotion
  • One last note about "hope" was the telling of the story of Victor Frankel and his writing of Man's Search for Meaning where he talks about those he witnessed placing too much emphasis on hope in the concentration camps during the Holocaust. their hope continued being crushed and many of them didn't survive.  

Change already seemed like the only constant in life - and that was before we experienced a global pandemic. Change is an intensely personal process. It requires people to think, feel, or do something different, and oftentimes, all three of those are required before the process is complete. These are all likely to happen to varying degrees depending on whether the change was expected or out of our control. Being able to cope with change is about holding space for our feelings, cultivating our resilience, and meeting ourselves with patience as we recalibrate to our new reality. This Conversation served as an introduction to the topic, an opportunity to share tips, seek assistance for a transition we are currently experiencing, and discuss lessons-learned during a particularly difficult transition that might have provided valuable insight for a colleague. Additional resources include:

• 13 Tips for Navigating Change in the Workplace
• 5 Ways to Embrace Organizational Change
• 9 Ways to Navigate Change Mindfully
• 10 Tips for Successfully Navigating Major Life Transitions